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Welp. I feel like it was bound to happen considering the fact that I simply don't know how to just chill the fuck out, y'know?
Living in America is so awful because I know that when the medical bills come for the last two trips, they're going to be soexpensive and I simply? Should have passed away for free!! Jokies, jokies!
Anyways... I talked to some dude today about how my mental health is so far in the toilet that it might as well live with the rats in the sewers and it was slay to finally be able to talk to someone but at the same time I'm like jesus christ I don't know when to shut up?? Mfrs are like talk and I'm like I fear you have made such a mistake my man... and then they're like okay now I don't know how to back out of this conversation.
ALSO had my first CAT scan today. The results came back, I'm 100% certified meow-meow. No jk. But that was terrifying actually? They had rainbow lights and it would have been so cool under other circumstances but alas, I was there shaking like a little leaf from how spooked I was. The lady was so sweet though, she talked me through everything and it went by pretty okay. She said that when she was gonna push the contrast through, it would make me feel really warm and like I was gonna piss myself... jesus she was so right because I swear to god I did piss myself... I didn't but it sure as hell felt like it!
I haven't had an IV in me in eons so this was a fun new experience I guess. The IV tech nurse used an ultrasound to find a vein for the IV to go in and I looked at it and it was AWFUL honestly. I don't like knowing that's what's inside me. Get out of me! Nasty lil wormies! TMI I peed so much today, it was insane. Also, have sticky lil glue all over me from my EKG. 2 EKGs in one week, what a record!
They discharged me after I was there for like. 7 hours? Absolutely insane. On the one hand, though, exposure therapy goes doki doki! On the other hand, though, if I had been dying, imagine how bad that would have been. I wasn't dying tho, they said that it was mostly anxiety related so I have to go see someone about it, but the BH guy put in refferals for me which is so slayful methinks!
Anyways it's 630p right now so I have to push through 3 more hours before I can curl up and take a nap/go to sleep but I think I'll code some more stuff and see if it keeps me a lil more distracted. I had to redo this entire page and idek where I wen't wrong with the last one, but it is what it is because this was a nice distraction for a while. I took a micro-nap when I got home because I've been up since 7am and then did my homework before sunset which is a slay for me again!
I think I'm going to like this a lot more than being on Twitter to be honest. I haven't logged on since I woke up on Tuesday and freaked the hell out about the same issue (which I guess really is in my head :eyeroll: or whatever) and I do miss my pals, but I'm so much happier not being on Twitter, even if it's only been for a couple days?
I don't think I'll ever be able to leave completely because it's a very easy way for me to communicate with people, but in terms of putting all my thoughts and things in a place, I think it'll be here from now on. I don't know that I'll be making blog posts every single day because frankly, my life is really boring and I don't do anything but sit here and complain about my life but I'd rather have a nice time to sit down and recount the day for the 0 ppl who care instead of stream of conciousness tweet all day long. I dunno! At this point, I'm ramblking too much. Anyways! See yall on da flip side :3